You’ve got to love the newest and latest, high-tech apps to improve your golf game!

OK, imagine you’re on the #5 fairway at Western Trent  (not in the cedars on the right)…I said “imagine”. You’ve just hit it a crisp 195 yard 3 wood and can now see a little bit of the green. When you take a couple of strides to the corner of the dogleg, you can see it’s a blue flag and you estimate a clean 7 iron with a modicum of draw, then perhaps a 5 footer uphill putt for birdie. OK, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

The foursome in front are still chipping on…yes! Time for some technology to improve your game and more importantly impress your golfing buddies. You whip out your iPhone 10+.  If they only had your advanced knowledge and high speed connection with the interweb…but for now only you have the power of the golf gods in your hand!

A satellite image of the 5th hole instantly appears…graphics indicate that you are exactly 134 yards from the hole. You ignore the oohs and ahs over your shoulder. The app advises a 7 iron (yes, it has the same legendary vision that you have). You nod sagely. The sensor on your phone indicates a slight breeze NNE of about 17. 3 kph above the tree line…thereby suggesting that you aim over the small birch tree near the corner. A gentle reminder from the app says to ‘hit down on the ball’, ‘take a divot’ and to ‘be prepared for an eagle’ should you ‘execute’.

A friend announces the green is now clear…it’s your shot…you take a deep breath…you smile to yourself, that only confidence can give you…you imagine your fellow golfers admiring your practice swing with a tinge of jealousy for the ability to harness (nae master) the very latest in technology.

You swing…a cheer goes up! Eagle? You say. No they say. Poison Ivy…you shanked it into the thicket on the right.

Stupid app!

By Paul D. Bell,
Professional Idler.


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